I wish that I had been able to attach a definition to his treatment but at the time, I didn’t. All I wanted was to communicate and find ourselves on common ground. The truth is that if they don’t want that, there’s nothing that can be done to get there. In the end, our power comes from choosing who will be in our lives and who will not. We must surround ourselves with people who are kind and who believe in openness and vulnerability.
Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.Mother Teresa
While travelling by train to visit a friend in Bristol, I started reading the first book on my Summer Reading List: Untangled by Alexis Rose. It is a heart wrenching story of abuse but also of courage and hope. One sentence took my attention: “The silence is the worst sometimes. Along with the moment when an abusive event ends the silence is sometimes the most uncomfortable part of being hurt.” It reminded me of all the times when his silence hurt me and made me feel worthless.
Many emotional manipulators use the silent treatment to undermine, invalidate and ultimately control the other person. It is often exerted to avoid accountability, personal responsibility or conflict resolution. It can takes various forms such as not responding to a text or message, ignoring a comment or question…
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